“Halloween Ends” Movie Review: Please Do NOT Make Another One
Non Spoiler Review
This movie was a horrific piece of shit. I dont mean horrific as in like it was scary. I mean horrific in like whoever approved this movie to be made should be fired and forced to live the rest of their lives on the streets. The Halloween franchise has not always been known for having great storylines and having silly sequels, but I think those sequels knew what they were doing. This movie not only does not make sense and has no direction but its not self aware and overall shits on the franchise. It is so disappointing that this is how Jamie Lee Curtis leaves the franchise after 45 years or so of being Laurie Strode. I generally am quiet and just kind of observe while at the movie theatre. I verbally said “what the fuck”, “Jesus Christ”, and “are you fucking kidding me” multiple times throughout this movie.
Score: 1/10- They made a movie
Spoiler Review
They better not make another one of these. In my mind this series ends with the 2018 Halloween. This is Hollywood milking this thing for everything they can. What I will never understand is how studios get these franchises (Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Fantastic Beasts), decide theyre going to make a new trilogy, sign on all these actors from the originals for nostalgias sake, and then make three movies without a clear three movie arc already written out. Why would you make a trilogy and then just change whats happening every movie? Could you imagine if in the Lord of the Rings, in the second movie, they were just like, actually Sauron isnt the bad guy. We dont need to go to Mount Doom. The elves are actually the bad guys. And then in the third movie they just introduced a random guy from the mountains that is now the most powerful man in Middle Earth and had just been hiding, or some shit. Its literally like these executives are in their offices in Hollywood, doing blow off their desk, and making shit up. Then making that into the next movie. My expectations arent even that high. It just has to make sense or at least be self aware enough to make a joke out of it (see “Scream” franchise, and even that I am scared they are going to ruin).
Ok as far as the actual movie. So I think it opens at three years later and Michael just like disappeared. This guy Corey, who is 21, is babysitting a kid who has been acting weird since the whole Micheal Meyers killed half the town thing. So theyre playing into this whole Michael Meyers is pure evil thing.
So the kid starts fucking with the baby sitter and locks him in the attic. So far not that bad because youre like “oh shit Michaels in the attic for sure”. But no the baby sitter begins to kick the door open cause he gets a little scared. The kid is standing right in front of the door for some reason and the door flies open and knocks him over the railing where he falls like three stories and splats right in front of his parents who just got home. Now the kid was standing in front of the door still even after the babysitter kicked the door like 5 times and was like “let me out”. Its stupid but whatever, I can move past it. So we fast forward another year because its Halloween time again and the babysitter, Corey, apparently got off without any charges because he works at his dads junk yard. Up to this point I was like ok where is this going but not upset.
Laurie Strode for some reason, after just having prepared for Michael to come back after 40 years, I guess now doesnt care that hes at large and just murdered like everyone. Shes writing a book and living with her granddaughter, Allyson. Coreys at a gas station just hanging out and this car with 4 HIGHSCHOOL SENIORS in the MARCHING BAND pull up and are like “hey can you buy us some beer?” and Coreys all like “nah”. For some reason the ring leader of these kids has a New York accent and is all like “Hey! Yous that guy that killed the baby sitta he was watchin” and like shoves Corey who falls and cuts his hand on the glass bottle he was holding. Lauries also there and is like “scram” and then helps Corey slash the kids tires. She then sets him up with Allyson?
Now without just going through the dumbass plot of this movie here is a concise breakdown of what happens from here up until actual Halloween night: Allyson and Corey start dating, everyone in the town hates Corey, Corey finds Michael in the sewers, Michael and Corey become friends and start killing people, Laurie gets weirded out by him, he says some weird shit to Allyson and they decide to leave town.
Thats the first HOUR AND A HALF of the movie. Now that its Halloween, Coreys like Allyson we need to leave tonight and tells her to meet him at the diner. He then goes out with Michael for a murder spree and just forgets about her I guess. Laurie calls in to the police and is like “Im gonna kill myself”. Somehow she knew this would lure Michael and Corey to her? Like how would she know that? How did they beat the police there? Whatever. So Laurie kills Corey, she like nails Michael to the kitchen table and cuts him up, and then the town gets together (like the whole town in a line of cars) and they carry him and put him into the car grinder thing and he gets ground up. It ends with Laurie and the cop beginning a relationship.
This is how Michael dies^
Yeah what the fuck is this horrific piece of shit. Possibly the most forgettable, nonsensical, and shit way to end anything. Just dont go see it. Dont make another one. Let it be.