What to do during the Sports Dead Period
Its summer time. The sun is out, people are out drinking, hot girls are getting invited onto boats while their guy friends try to convince themselves theyre going to see them again. Youre supposed to be enjoying yourself. Youre supposed to be enjoying the summer, and the sun, and the nice weather. Youre supposed to be thankful you dont have to wear layers of clothes, or scrape ice off your windshield, or suffer through depression caused by clouds. But something is missing. The desire to flock to your local sports bar or parking lot and drink for 8-12 hours while watching younger much more successful men give each other CTE is flowing through your veins.
Its the time of year that hits every sports fan usually sometime after the NBA draft… the sports dead period. Bored and want to throw something on? Great you get baseball. Want to ignore your family and avoid that dumb activity that you know is going to be a big fucking dud? Well you could watch baseball. Craving a three team parlay that you believe in because Belichick always destroys rookie QBs, and you got some insider intel that a teams best player is out, and the weather in Cleveland is windy so the Chargers are going to struggle? Well you can just bet on baseball I guess.
What should you do to help the months of July and August pass while still being able to enjoy yourself? Heres a list of 3 things I do to get through the summer and not come off as an uninterested asshole during the dead period where I cannot lean on sports to make up for my antisocial behaviors.
3) Do fantasy football Mock Drafts
I actually know a guy that used to be in my fantasy football league that said that you shouldnt do mock drafts in the offseason because then you “get in your own head”. What the fuck does that mean? Also that guy got kicked out of the league for not paying league dues. So its just a fact that the guy was such a dumbass he couldnt even budget for his fantasy football league. I like to start each summer day with a mock draft to hone my skills.
For those of you that arent familiar a mock draft is just a fake fantasy football draft. Its a good activity to not only burn 20-30 minutes but you also get a feel for how things are falling in fantasy football drafts. Its also fun to try different strategies you havent before or just mess around. Get it out of your system so youre ready for your actual draft.
2) Lift a lot
Want to avoid the fam? Hide behind your new affinity for health and wanting to look good. Its the summer so you can just say “going to the lake/pool/beach this weekend. I want to look good”. You could get a solid AM cardio session and PM weight session and end up burning two hours a day. Not only are you burning time but youre gonna start to look good and feel better. Use this momentum into Fall where you will eventually fall (lol) completely off when youre spending everyday at a bar, eating wings, drinking beers.
You will look good until like Halloween where you can get a solid Halloween pic for Instagram and then just blame your falling out of shape on the holidays because Thanksgiving is right there.
1) Talk about how much you miss sports
This is a cheat code. Literally anytime youre talking to another guy just bring up how much you miss sports. You will know everything about this mans fandom and all of his hottest sports takes. This man is no longer a stranger but a friend and you can slowly get through the dead period together.
If they dont immediately freak the fuck up and just kind of say “Yeah im not very big into sports”, or “Im more of a soccer guy” then that man is not trustworthy. All the “I dont watch sports” guys are hiding something. Im not 100% sure what but they arent to be trusted. Youre telling me during football season you just do yard work? Or go to the cider mill every weekend? No bro youre hiding bodies in the basement. If they say they dont watch sports just ask them where the bodies are. Nothing will cap off a Sports Dead Period like solving several homicides and putting an at large serial killer behind bars.