Top 5 Tuesday: What you should do if Football is Cancelled
Lets me make something really clear here. I dread the possibility of this happening. Without football I literally struggle with day to day life, conversation, and overall happiness. Its 75% of what I think about at all times of the day, during all times of the year. And as a Detroit Lions/Michigan Wolverines fan every year could be our year, and the thought that there could be no chance that this could be our said year, absolutely crushes me. This whole COVID thing is fucking bullshit and I think eventually everyone that it doesn’t effect is going to have to move on. Its getting to the point where I know more people that have had it then people that have not. I also understand that people, while not at a high rate, are dying from it and that is sad. But I didn’t do this to you. China did. Blame them. Are we really going to have to sit through winter locked in our homes, scared of something that kills 1% of the population or so, without football? Its un-American. It is physically impossible to do fall in without Michigan. Imagine you wake up on a nice cool 65 degree October Saturday and College Gameday isn’t on. Disgusting
Anyway its not a for sure thing yet. Which means there is hope. And sometimes that hope is what gets me through the day. Just hoping that one morning I will wake up to a Breaking News alert “COVID Cured”. Now thats a headline. The scary thing is that its leading that way. JUCOs, the Ivy League schools, and the Patriot league (most recently) have cancelled their seasons. Now, these are smaller schools with less resources, but what if the Sun Belt, MAC, and American start shutting it down? I fear it could possibly cause a domino effect.
While I stare these very real fears down the barrel, Im starting to consider what I would do without football. These are my top 5 hobbies to pick up if football is cancelled.
5. Take a Boxing/MMA Class
A few reasons I would consider picking this up as a hobby.
Reason 1) Its a good workout- Its always good to throw in different kinds of workouts into your routine. This allows you to learn a new skill and get a good workout in. Also people will think of you as less of a pussy.
Reason 2) You get out of the house- Fact: Saturdays and Sundays are for tailgates and hanging out all day at the bar during football season. It just feels right. If I don’t have this. I need to go somewhere. Why not go to fight someone for fun?
Reason 3) Joe Rogan does it- Now you can say to your friends yeah I know how to do it when youre sitting around not watching football watching Joe Rogans podcast on YouTube.
Will these classes even be available due to COVID. Not sure
4. Knitting
No better way to tackle the patriarchy and gender rolls then learning a traditionally feminine skill. My mom owned a knit shop for like a year maybe two (shoutout mom) and she loves it. So maybe you will too.
3. Try to become Internet Famous
I have been trying for years. Its worth it. Also, Do you know how much those Wiggle Dickers on Tik Tok make? More than me. And I went to college. Find your niche and penetrate the market. I watched a guy feed piranha a frog today. Believe me you can make it.
2. Take up Wood Working
Completely inspired by Ron Swanson the man himself. True legend. This is one that my dad enjoys (shoutout dad). This is actually kind of a cool thing to learn, and its practical.
1.Learn an Instrument
Heres something I am actually currently doing. The only thing chicks dig more then scars is a guy that can play an instrument. To me the guys playing piano or shredding on guitar are what’s up. Who knows once you learn an instrument like the piano,next thing you know I could be an International DJ. You could be a below average, gap toothed, Elton John looking fuck and still get laid if you can play an instrument.
Also I heard that it like opens other parts of your brain or something. Dont quote me on that one. But yeah best case scenario you become an overnight superstar like in “A Star is Born”. Worse case scenario youre the dad on the camping trip that everyones like “God I hope Steve doesn’t bring his fucking guitar”